“What do you do as a coach?” Suppose I respond with the International Coach Federation (ICF) definition of “Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”. In that case, I’m likely to be on the receiving end of a quizzical look. But, on the other hand, maybe that’s the purpose of the ICF definition, to generate more questions; because coaching is all about questions.
In general, coaching aims to facilitate learning, growth, and transformation in the client’s choosing areas. Most typically, my clients have requested coaching for the following scenarios:
1. They have a project to start, but they don’t know how to start or keep it moving smoothly.
2. They have a decision to make about an issue with multiple dimensions (i.e., complicated).
3. They want to make changes in their career or life.
4. They are not happy with their life balance (relationships, career, finances, physical well-being, spirituality, etc.).
From time to time, we all have difficulties addressing areas of self-development that we’d like to improve. In these instances, working with a coach simply supports us in taking on these challenges with our full potential. Coaching is not about giving advice; coaches accept their clients as whole, resourceful, capable, and creative individuals. Instead, the coach’s true aim is to encourage the client to develop their path forward that will uniquely work for them through a transformative process that starts with growing awareness and clarity.
Through conversation and direct questions, the coaching partnership explores the client’s awareness of themselves and their situation. Discussion revolves around what is essential to the client, their values, environment, and responses to the topic situation. At first, clients may be surprised by provocative questions. “How does that make you feel?” is simply not asked in polite society. We are a take-action society! We frequently look at situations from a tactical point of view, a sort of move-countermove strategy put in place to overcome the challenge. For the most part, we choose to leave our feelings out of it, as if our feelings weren’t necessary. However, facing a challenge without self-awareness is like meeting an enemy with inadequate intelligence.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” ~Sun Tzu
Hand-in-hand with developing awareness is developing clarity. Clarity of our problem statement is not easy, but it is required. Complicated, challenging situations are often multi-layered, and our assessment of the core elements genuinely runs the gamut from “opinion” to “I think I know” to “I know.” Nevertheless, getting clarity on our problem statement is vital. The objective is to move from a general fuzzy feeling of consternation to a solid declaration.
Along with defining the problem statement, clarity of what the client wants is also needed. Often a client has not determined what success looks like. Therefore, a coaching dialogue will focus on:
What do you intend to accomplish?
How do you measure success?
How does the knight celebrate slaying the dragon?
These questions may seem simple, but when we are in the trenches and feel overwhelmed, victory can be hard to glimpse. The day-to-day battles frequently consume all our energies and thought. The ideal coach will work with you to create a safe space to breathe and gain your bearings on moving forward.
Establishing awareness and clarity are the foundational building blocks for transformative change and problem-solving. That doesn’t mean that the work required for change won’t be difficult or take time; however, with awareness and clarity established, final success is assured.
This Navajo saying may best capture a client’s experience of a well-executed coaching partnership: “Bless those who challenge us to grow, to stretch, to move beyond the knowable, to come back home to our elemental and essential nature. Bless those who challenge us, for they remind us of doors we have closed and doors we have yet to open.”