GRIT

Did you know that SAT scores are not a reliable predictor of college success?

Did you know that IQ is not a reliable predictor of career success?

Did you know that skill is not a reliable predictor of musical success?

Now imagine wanting something that you are passionate about. Imagine something that you are willing to work hard for. Imagine achieving your goal through perseverance and deliberate effort. Finally, imagine yourself never giving up.

I just finished reading Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. I initially got sucked into the topic after watching Dr. Duckworth’s TED talk on grit. Who is successful and why? How do passion and perseverance contribute to achievement? These are some of the fundamental questions that drive Dr. Duckworth’s research.

I’m always a little surprised when someone tells me they could never be any good at math, or computers, or engineering. I’ll then ask, “Do you practice?”  Not surprisingly, those who claim they can’t do math don’t practice math. Even though they accept the need to practice for athletic performance improvements, practicing math seems to be a foreign concept. Perhaps what they are saying is, “I have no passion for math.” Without the passion, perseverance to do the hard work of studying math may also be missing.

I like how Dr. Duckworth describes how to develop skill and achievements:

·      Talent and effort drive skill development.

·      Skill and effort drive achievement.

·      With an algebraic substitution, talent and effort and effort deliver achievement.

“Talent – how fast we improve in skill – matters. But effort factors into the calculations twice, not once.” So an effort with deliberate practice is a crucial factor in achievement.

So, what is it that you want to achieve? Do you have the grit – passion, and perseverance – necessary for achievement? According to Dr. Duchworth’s studies, the good news is that each of us can increase our grit.

As a life and career coach, I work with clients to find their passion, develop action plans, and celebrate the perseverance necessary for achieving life goals. But, what I didn’t realize until now, is that I coach GRIT.

 

~Neal

What do you do?

“What do you do as a coach?” Suppose I respond with the International Coach Federation (ICF) definition of “Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”. In that case, I’m likely to be on the receiving end of a quizzical look. But, on the other hand, maybe that’s the purpose of the ICF definition, to generate more questions; because coaching is all about questions.

In general, coaching aims to facilitate learning, growth, and transformation in the client’s choosing areas. Most typically, my clients have requested coaching for the following scenarios:

1.    They have a project to start, but they don’t know how to start or keep it moving smoothly.

2.    They have a decision to make about an issue with multiple dimensions (i.e., complicated).

3.    They want to make changes in their career or life.

4.    They are not happy with their life balance (relationships, career, finances, physical well-being, spirituality, etc.).

From time to time, we all have difficulties addressing areas of self-development that we’d like to improve. In these instances, working with a coach simply supports us in taking on these challenges with our full potential. Coaching is not about giving advice; coaches accept their clients as whole, resourceful, capable, and creative individuals. Instead, the coach’s true aim is to encourage the client to develop their path forward that will uniquely work for them through a transformative process that starts with growing awareness and clarity.

Through conversation and direct questions, the coaching partnership explores the client’s awareness of themselves and their situation. Discussion revolves around what is essential to the client, their values, environment, and responses to the topic situation. At first, clients may be surprised by provocative questions. “How does that make you feel?” is simply not asked in polite society. We are a take-action society! We frequently look at situations from a tactical point of view, a sort of move-countermove strategy put in place to overcome the challenge. For the most part, we choose to leave our feelings out of it, as if our feelings weren’t necessary. However, facing a challenge without self-awareness is like meeting an enemy with inadequate intelligence.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” ~Sun Tzu

Hand-in-hand with developing awareness is developing clarity. Clarity of our problem statement is not easy, but it is required. Complicated, challenging situations are often multi-layered, and our assessment of the core elements genuinely runs the gamut from “opinion” to “I think I know” to “I know.” Nevertheless, getting clarity on our problem statement is vital. The objective is to move from a general fuzzy feeling of consternation to a solid declaration.

Along with defining the problem statement, clarity of what the client wants is also needed. Often a client has not determined what success looks like. Therefore, a coaching dialogue will focus on: 

  • What do you intend to accomplish?

  • How do you measure success?

  • How does the knight celebrate slaying the dragon?

These questions may seem simple, but when we are in the trenches and feel overwhelmed, victory can be hard to glimpse. The day-to-day battles frequently consume all our energies and thought. The ideal coach will work with you to create a safe space to breathe and gain your bearings on moving forward.

Establishing awareness and clarity are the foundational building blocks for transformative change and problem-solving. That doesn’t mean that the work required for change won’t be difficult or take time; however, with awareness and clarity established, final success is assured.

This Navajo saying may best capture a client’s experience of a well-executed coaching partnership: “Bless those who challenge us to grow, to stretch, to move beyond the knowable, to come back home to our elemental and essential nature. Bless those who challenge us, for they remind us of doors we have closed and doors we have yet to open.”